


Picture Imperfect

by Measured



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: F/M, Humor, M/M, Missing Scene, Photography
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-30
Updated: 2013-08-30
Packaged: 2017-12-25 02:23:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/947487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Measured/pseuds/Measured
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Miss Pauling attempts to get the mercenaries to stay still and be good for a promotional photo, with little success.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Picture Imperfect

**Author's Note:**

> fic_promptly: any, any, fakin' it. Based on [this recent sfm picture](http://24.media.tumblr.com/75a69b483086fe783de23723850f7959/tumblr_ms6d7l85KB1qkwee2o1_1280.png) that was shared on the official TF2 facebook, and was associated with 140, the TF2 gaming event. Barry White's solo career comes from the 70s, thus that's when it's set. Just go with it.

She held up the camera, and through the viewfinder she could already see the chaos. Spy was nowhere to be seen, Pyro was on his stomach, kicking his heels up as he leaned his head on his hands, looking uncannily like a twelve year old girl. Demoman had passed out cold beside him, so he was at least, one less mercenary she had to worry about.

"Okay, where did Spy go?" she said.

"He was just here a minute ago," Engineer said.

At least she could always count on him to be the sole voice of reason. Engineer laid back, his hard hat dipping into his face. He pushed it up, but it only fell back down.

"All men fall in _—literally!_ We're gonna win this one on our backs, men!" Soldier bellowed. He put his hand over his heart, like a salute.

Beside him, Scout snickered. "We're good on our backs, all right."

Scout laid out with his hands behind his back, giving her the sort of grin which deserved an accompaniment of Barry White music. She was faintly surprised that this time he wasn't patting the grass beside him, and waggling his eyes in his usual impish attempts at flirting. She lingered a moment on him, lain out there with his shirt pulled tight against his chest, his stupid smile making her want to smile despite herself—

 _Moving on_.

She forced her thoughts away from the suggesive looks Scout was giving her, only to find Heavy and Medic were in very different positions than when she last checked on them several minutes ago. Heavy laid on his side, and Medic was lying back, smoking a cigarette. If Heavy actually had hair to mess up, it would've been as disheveled as his clothes.

"Can't you keep your hands off of each other for _two minutes_?" she said under her breath.

Of course, given how long she'd run surveillance, she already knew the answer.

Spy appeared and plopped down right on Sniper's back.

"Oi–"

"That's funny, pillows don't talk," Spy said. He leaned back more, pushing Sniper down.

"I'm gonna cut you to pieces," Sniper hissed.

"I'd like to see you try," Spy said. He grinned wide as he leaned back even further, effectively pinning Sniper to the ground.

"Save it for the battlefield," Miss Pauling said.

"He started it," Sniper muttered.

"You're all acting worse than kindergartners," she said in exasperation.

Scout seemed to think deeply on that one, but not even he could get an innuendo out of that one, so he shrugged and grinned up at her harder. The hard hat fell back over Engineer's face and he just gave up as he reached for Pyro's Homewrecker. 

Miss Pauling let out a long sigh as she lifted her camera up. She wasn't likely to get them to behave any better without drugging them all, so she might as well take what she could. The new ad campaign would be brutally honest as ever.

One snap of the camera and the moment was caught, just the least chaotic moment she could have found. Just as she lowered the camera, Sniper knocked Spy off his back and pulled out his kukri.

"No killing each other until the next round!"

Spy disappeared. He laughed at Sniper's missed stab so hard that he began to snort. Sniper thrust his kukri into air again and again as Scout, and then Pyro began to laugh, too.

She shook the picture as it came into focus. Despite the fact that they were almost all on the verge of killing each other or sleeping with each other or some kinky combination, they all looked so happy.

And she supposed that was fitting in their own little dysfunctional way.


End file.
